Thursday, November 21, 2019

Celebrating Failure 26A


I began this semester with one goal in mind besides excelling in my academia–finding a girlfriend. I went out on most weekends and utilized dating apps such as Tinder, but none of these things mattered because I was really lacking in self confidence. Even when I matched with a girl on tinder or met someone attractive, I was unable to muster up the confidence to make a real effort at achieving my one goal. There was a large disconnect between what I told myself I wanted and the actions that I actually took to "try" to manifest this goal. I just simply was not doing enough and didn't take the risks I needed to succeed. This lack of taking action brought me to a self-loathing state where all I would do is doubt myself and thus not take risks.

I have a very successful past and know what it takes to turn a plan into action. For example, I went into my freshman year of high school with a class of 500 students determined to finish #1 in the class, and I did.  However, nothing gets done when you are not 100% dedicated and committed to the task at hand. I really underestimated mental health, especially while living 5 hours away from home, and I learned how important it is to try to build and maintain a positive and confident mindset and that there are no magical handouts and things do not miraculously just happen without effort. I underestimated how much effort this endeavor would require and thus just kept avoiding it as my confidence gradually slipped. Failing is very difficult to endure for me as I consider myself a perfectionist. If 90% of everything is going accordingly, I will focus relentlessly on that last 10% to achieve my goal. In this case, I would just avoid potential opportunities if I thought that the smallest thing was off. I would look for excuses and it just got to the point where I gave up trying. Failure is no fun, especially for someone like me that is not used to the feeling. Everything I have done thus far in my life I have given all I had and tried my absolute best, yet I just could not garner the confidence to make a legit effort of finding a girl. I learned that sometimes, it is imperative to step outside my comfort zone and to try and achieve things that I would never imagine attempting in the first place.

Taking this class has definitely broadened my perspective on failure because I didn't really know how to deal with it and thus just brushed it aside and tried to forget about it instead of getting up from the mud and trying to get back on my feet.  The very specific assignments given in this course illuminate just how easy it can be to fail with so many obstacles to overcome depending on the situation. This class enriched my ability to respond to failure and for that I am forever grateful.

1 comment:

  1. Hey James! I thought your post was very insightful and relatable. The way you talked about failure was realistic. Just because you make an extensive effort to accomplish something does not necessarily mean you will be successful. However, continuing to try and improve is the key to finding success in the future. Being willing to step outside of your comfort zone and getting more comfortable being uncomfortable are important steps on the road to success.

    ReplyDelete